I really liked this song, it's so touching, and it makes me cry.  I hope I never have to feel that kind of pain.  Love is so beautiful yet so tarnised by "reality".  But it's only during those moments of pain do I feel overpowered by the beauty of love, like no other times.  Only then do I forget the "reality" of my surroundings and realize the actual thing that sustains my will to live. 

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Sigh, only if it was the other way around.  But Discipline, I will master you!

Sometimes the freedom to be bored is a privilege.  Ah, indeed, a sign of independence!  How I long for that sometimes.....life is always so full of desires for what we do not have.  Even though I know this in my head, I cannot never stop myself from taking for granted what I have, and wanting what I do not have, even if it's not all that great.  Human conditions, so pathetic....

and speaking of things I cannot have, here's a man I won't mind staring at all day long...

Daniel Henney 

http://times.hankooki.com/lpage/special/200507/kt2005070420311745250.htm

It actually rained today, wow.  The forecast was right for once, just when I didn't bring my umbrella!  Ugh.  Boring boring day..........ugh, what to do with myself!  I was thinking of picking up cooking, that would be something nice to show off to my future husband or his family.  But after walking in the rain with two bags of grocery, half frozen stuff including a 5 lb chicken, I decided, no.... that's not the thing for me...just not my forte.  Great, now I have to figure out how to roast the chicken...mmmmm, chinese way or american way, or european way!  Let the fun begin!

Just took my salsa lesson.  It was fun!  The instructor was so HOT and so.... gay.  Too bad....oh well, I can still stare at his body (to learn the dance moves, not what you are thinking!)  haha.....